I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
