just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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