Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
