Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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