i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
my liver is dry heaving
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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