Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
foreskin is a definite game changer
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
