He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
