Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
