Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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