I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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