If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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