So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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