he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Two words: nipple clamps
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