Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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