his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
