I want to make a zoo with you.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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