I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
