anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We need to get me chipped asap
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
