did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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