His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
