So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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