my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
