You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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