If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
