That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
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