Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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