I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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