Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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