You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It's blow job season.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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