North Korea, Best Korea!
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
