Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
