Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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