there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
