so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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