The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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