You're so nebulous sometimes
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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