Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you inspire me to be a worse person
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
