Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
