you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
