I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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