I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
