I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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