so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
