i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
