Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
