About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
