Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
