There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I will pee on everything he values.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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