you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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