tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
