whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
