so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Randomize
